14 days and a Wake up

Fourteen days in a wake up and I have made it 90 days. Doesn't seem like much to the sober person. To those that have never known the urge to use a drug it seems a small accomplishment. To those that have and no longer use, you know where I am at. To those that are currently wrapped in the illusion of that mystical crystal. Your only 90 days away from where I am at.

It seems a lifetime ago already. I notice things that would have gone unseen in my active addiction. I see people for who they are and not for what they can do for me or what I can take from them and make them think they wanted to give it to me.

Meth addicts are masters of reverse psychology. We can sell condoms to a priest or get someone to give us their last dime. We are masters of lies or so we think. Most see through it, everyone knows there is something more going on. The user thinks we have them fooled. In reality, we fool ourselves into believing that we are believable.

I know now that my lies caused damage to not only the people I lied to and cheated. My lies caused damage to my reputation and self respect. Everyday I try to find someway to undo a wrong. Everyday I look in the mirror and ask myself if I am proud of the man I see. For today, I am Proud.