Holidays in Hell?

Holidays are hard times for me as a recovering addict. This was the time of year that I always could justify getting really spun out. Its the HOLIDAYS, LETS GET TRASHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This will be my first year sober during the holidays in about 12 years. Every holiday season I would spend the money I was going to buy myself something with on dope. I could rationalize it because it was really a gift, or so I told myself.

This holiday season I will struggle with this aspect of my recovery. The thoughts of using are dancing in my head. I have already tried to justify using this weekend because it is a holiday. I cant say that I wont. We as addicts can not make that kind of leap of faith. I wont use today. That is about as far ahead as I can see for now.

Some of my post seem to paint me as a person that has overcome this battle. I am a strong person, but the advesary of addiction is cunning . I pride myself on my strength, my presence and prowlace.

I will wish you all a very happy holidays. I will be thinking of all of my brothers and sisters that will spend thier holidays getting trashed and envy only their freedom from reality. Reality is a hard place to live.

"DRUGS ARE FOR PEOPLE THAT CANT HANDLE REALITY; REALITY IS FOR PEOPLE THAT CANT HANDLE DRUGS?"

I seems so long ago that I was using but the truth is it was only yesterday in my mind.

Everyone be safe.

Happy Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy *********** and $%$%$%$%$%$ Just in case I missed your specific holiday, just insert you holiday.

Ti