Holidays are hard times for me as a recovering addict. This was the time of year that I always could justify getting really spun out. Its the HOLIDAYS, LETS GET TRASHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This will be my first year sober during the holidays in about 12 years. Every holiday season I would spend the money I was going to buy myself something with on dope. I could rationalize it because it was really a gift, or so I told myself.
This holiday season I will struggle with this aspect of my recovery. The thoughts of using are dancing in my head. I have already tried to justify using this weekend because it is a holiday. I cant say that I wont. We as addicts can not make that kind of leap of faith. I wont use today. That is about as far ahead as I can see for now.
Some of my post seem to paint me as a person that has overcome this battle. I am a strong person, but the advesary of addiction is cunning . I pride myself on my strength, my presence and prowlace.
I will wish you all a very happy holidays. I will be thinking of all of my brothers and sisters that will spend thier holidays getting trashed and envy only their freedom from reality. Reality is a hard place to live.
"DRUGS ARE FOR PEOPLE THAT CANT HANDLE REALITY; REALITY IS FOR PEOPLE THAT CANT HANDLE DRUGS?"
I seems so long ago that I was using but the truth is it was only yesterday in my mind.
Everyone be safe.
Happy Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy *********** and $%$%$%$%$%$ Just in case I missed your specific holiday, just insert you holiday.
Ti
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4 comments:
Hello Brother. I read your post and wanted to tell you this.
If I had to struggle with urges and the obsession to use - I WILL LOSE! I fought that battle with the beast for 25+ years and lost it every time. There is no way in Hell that a Crystal Meth Addict like me can ever self-will himself through the obsessive nature of the addict mind and come out the other side clean. That's like deciding to watch a ticking bomb when you can't see the timer.
I do not struggle with it one little bit. The 12 Steps of Crystal Meth Anonymous (following the clear-cut directions in the book Alcoholics Anonymous) are a set of very simple principles that can be applied easily and rapidly by any meth addict that are designed to produce a spiritual awakening (nothing to do with any religion). The chief aspect of this spiritual awakening is the absolute freedom from the obsession to use. The fight will be over. It is a guarantee.
Try It Brother. Quit fighting the beast and win!!!!
are u still with us?
Its been 3 yrs since this blog. Ae you still there? Where are you located? I grew up in a meth home, not sure what I am trying to ask but I find this blog very interesting.
Im still alive and well. honestly, i did relapse but "caught myself" and continue to strive for improvement
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